Whew

This has been a challenging week. Seems everyone I love had a tough one too. I hate seeing my friends struggle.

Ever notice how much easier to tell someone else how to fix their problems than it is to fix your own? Even when you know the answer to what you need to do, it's so much easier to say it than to do it.

It's been so hot here and I am already over it and it's only mid-June.

Baby boy Greyson is doing much better but he is still a little squinty. Anytime my kits are not feeling in top form I get very worried. It takes a toll. Hubby is also not feeling his best and of course I worry about him too. I think everyone is on the right track though and it makes me feel better.

Yep when I think about it, life is okay, and I think I am just worrying because it is a familiar response. I used to constantly wait for the next bad thing to happen and every once in awhile I can drop back to that place emotionally.

I need to do what always helps me to focus on what's important. Write. In a journal, a blog or in the form of a story. I need to get in touch with myself and my creative flow again.

Heavy Thoughts

I feel like I legitimately have heavy thoughts right now. Greyson the kitten is literally on my head right now. He slipped off the head rest and onto my head. I guess he must be comfortable because he isn't moving.

I am also a little worried about my little man. He has the one-eyed squint today and his eyelid looks a little swollen to us. We don't see anything in there and he is still been pretty active all day. I am hoping he is all better tomorrow or he may be going on his first trip to our vet.

I did discover something new about my kitten this weekend. He loves to get under the blanket with you to get in some snuggles. Up to now he hasn't been the snuggliest boy, so I was a little surprised with how much he liked it.

Of course it's hard to really enjoy it with him when it's 115 degrees outside. Looks like Winter will be nice though. Please send some healing thoughts our way if you can spare them.

Tee Hee

So when I was setting up my email on my iPhone I made a little typo in the Name field.

Now when I email myself photos they come up as coming from "Meh."

I'd try and change but honestly it tickles me too much still.

Plus I am not sure yet how to get back to where I mistyped it...

Can I Get a Hooray?

Well I have to proof it but I finally finished my query letter. Woot! I found writing the two paragraphs to summarize my script was way harder than writing the 120 pages that came before.

I wrote a ton of different variations, and thought of so many more variations until I was sick of it all. I admit I was stuck. I was too much in my head and trying to hard to get in my own way - something I am very good at.

Maybe I should make getting in your own way a sport at Cat-A-Lympics? I could take gold.

So what moved me off my perch? I was cleaning out a forgotten drawer and I found the notebook I used to take notes when I took my writing classes about five years ago. I'm sure it was divine inspiration that made me clean out the drawer - certainly it is not an urge that strikes me on a regular day.

Somehow looking back at the notes a younger me made me realize how far I've come and that I'm ready to move forward. I'd also written a list of what my emotional True North would look and feel like - and I saw I was on the right path.

And just like magic, when I realized I was ready, the words arrived. Of course they came at 4am, as most of my good ideas do - when my ability to block them is lowest. I almost went back to sleep with the a sense of acomplishment - then I realized I'd have to hurt myself if I forgot them before getting them down.

I decided to go into my office like a workday. I wrote down the words in my own hand (with kitties batting at the pen) and I imagined the things that may happen because I was brave enough to write them down. Whatever comes, I know I am ready to take this next step. Ready to be rejected and ready to be accepted too. Ready to stand on my feet and have faith that what happens is exactly what needs to happen. 

White Blindness

Sorry I have been so neglectful of my blog this week. I've had the oddest thing happen this week. My eyes have been super sensitive to light. Particularly when I've looked at a mostly white screen.

Usually my light sensitivity is accompanied by a headache and that hasn't really been the case. So I am not really sure what's going on. I had my eyes checked and I do need a new prescription so as soon as my frames arrive I am getting them made up right away.

There were times if I questioned if it was some freaky form of writer's block. It might be part of it, but I don't think it's really the case. I'm not looking forward to work tomorrow. Maybe I should wear my shades?

Glad I can draw the shades and work in the dark if it helps, or blast the background lighting. Have I mentioned how much I love working at home lately. Gonna go sit in the dark now.

Sharing

Sometimes I have to wonder about the spam bots who leave comments. I notice certain trends in the spam they leave behind.

Spam tends to fall into a few catagories:

• Blatant spam to advertise something. 
• Pleasantries about how delightful the post is - but that in no way matches my content and an invite to come over to their blog.
• Every once in a while I get rude spam that is obviously insulting just to try to encourage you to visit their site. Since the insults are not related to my content I try not to take it personally. The good thing about a cat blog is it is rarely controversial in a passionate way. Your cats like Fancy Feast mine like Temptations - it's all fine. 

I had to laugh at this on left on the cat blog though:

"Do you mind if I quote a couple of your posts as long as I provide credit and sources back to your weblog? My website is in the very same area of interest as yours and my users would genuinely benefit from a lot of the information you present here. Please let me know if this alright with you. Appreciate it!"

I was almost falling for it till I read the rest...

"my web site ... cialis"

I don't really see a connection to my kitty content....

In No Mood

I am officially in no mood to go back to work tomorrow. I took a couple of days off at the end of last week and I was just getting used to it. Nothing pressing to do and plenty of time to not do anything.

My projects I'll be returning to are not filling me with a great sense of excitement. On the plus side they are not filling me with dread either.

I have a case of the "Mehs."

It's a good problem to have I realize as I'm saying it. So many times in life I have wished for nothing more than a little boredom and sameness about life. So I am going to embrace this moment of meh and give it the gratitude it deserves.

Thank you Universe for delivering this little moment of time as I stand still - knowing life will change soon enough.