You know that person in your office who seems to always be cranky and crabby about their job? The Office Curmudgeon.
I realized about a month or so ago that I had become that person. I used to be a happy and positive person - okay to a point - I'm not that person either. I'm not sure exactly when the curmudgeoning happened, probably a slow progression. I'm not sure when everyone else might have noticed it - I hope I've been covering it well.
I used to really love this job, I have great people I work with, and it was focused on all the things I like. Slowly my job changed over the course of five years, and I suddenly realized that the part of my job I love the most, is the part of my job I get to do least often.
Not surprisingly perhaps, the part I love the most is being creative and writing. Sadly "all this" ::points to the blog:: is not enough to pay the bills, and I like having a real job. I get a lot of satisfaction out of a job well done (and a paycheck sure doesn't hurt either).
The last few years have been a scary time in the world, and I've been afraid to change to something new for fear of... what? Everything and anything. I'm realizing now that a life lived in fear crowds out the opportunity of a life lived in joyfulness.
After a particularly trying day I asked for a job I can love. I looked online that night on the company website and there was the very job I always dreamed of. Crazy right? So with no fear in my heart, I applied. Then nothing. Then yesterday an interview, and then an email letting me know I am on to the next round and a request to submit samples of my writing.
I am still focusing on the idea of having a job I love and that might mean a new job, or it might mean I find a way to love the one I already have again. I am open to the possibilities. Wish me luck.