Off

Do you ever just feel... off.

There's nothing wrong with me (well no more than I can usually claim anyway). It seems like I'm sandwiched right between feelings. I'm not really on one side, or the other. When I do find myself on one side of a feeling, I feel like I am on the wrong side.

I'm not in a full-on funk, maybe call it a funklet. I try not make big decisions when I feel this way, for fear any decision I would make would be off too.


I think I'll write in my journal to see if I can get back on. There's something transforming about writing something down. I typically try to write three pages in a journal a day, and there is something magical about those three pages.

The first page is usually all the blather on the surface of my mind, and is rarely inspiring or enlightening. Somewhere on the second page my mind runs out of blather and I sit stumped for content. Then the magic starts to happen, as suddenly my mind shifts to a deeper place and I start to see a pattern in a situation or a mental thread appears that I can unravel. Often by the time I make it to page three all the thoughts in my head are in clear focus, and I could go on to page four and five.

There are also days when by page two I have nothing, and by page three I am scraping the bottom of the mental barrel and coming up dry with every sentence a struggle.You just never know what you're gonna get when you're off.