Perfection is a hard thing to achieve. To expect it of yourself in a first draft is just mean.
As a trainer I would never expect my trainees to be perfect, or anywhere close to perfection on the first try. I would never sit in judgement and assume they would never be good enough to do the job based on those first tentative steps.
I would encourage them. I would ease their fears. I would tell them that competence would come in time and perfection had no place in the process. If they were scared I would make them do it anyway - knowing that they would be successful and gain confidence.
So why am I so hard on myself? Why do I expect perfection on the first try and consider anything less as - unworthy of attempt? My creative endeavors often begin ugly and unformed. Words tumble out of my brain rambling and unfocused - not yet ready for sharp scrutiny. Perfection shouldn't be expected.
At the end of the day - words just need to be written - one at a time. Sometimes they flow easily and sometimes they need to be dragged into the light of day kicking and screaming. My job is just to listen and write them down.
Perfection is a long way off. Enjoy the journey.