Saturday, May 12, 2012

Open

It has been a week friends. Losing my kitty has been so hard, and I know many of you have had the same experiences with ones you've loved. I knew she was going to leave us for awhile. I think it did help me in some ways to prepare myself for her loss. I had prepared my mind and my heart as much as I could. I see now, how depressed I was over the last few months, knowing the loss was coming.

I expected to be sad, but then there are all the moments I didn't plan for. The first time my husband left the house and there was no singing. The first time I came home without a floofy belly to greet me. Realizing I could leave a glass of water by my bedside without fear of cat saliva. Brushing my teeth and being able to spit without worrying about hitting a cat head. Closing a door in my house, any door other than the hall closet where the Evil Dyson lives, without an angry serenade.

As sad as this week has been it has also been filled with very touching moments. Reading all the comments from all over the world has touched our hearts. Animal people are great people.

When I think about writing, I ask for the inspiration to write things that make others feel something, or think about something in a new way. Often it is through laughter, but what ever the tone in the end I want my words to mean something to my reader. As we read all those beautiful words sent by others, I realized I have touched people with my words. Sure they were spoken as my beloved cat, but they spoke to our  humanity.

I remember a literary agent read our book and her critique was that the book was just about my cat. She asked what was special about my cat - did she do anything special?

"Like cure cancer? No, she's just a housecat... She doesn't get out too much." I said, knowing that I would probably need to self-publish.

I didn't have the right answer then, but I do now... Of course she was special, but she was also no more special than the kitties in the lives of my readers. If you love them, all cats are special. All cats are perfectly imperfect when you love them.

I have had a few people ask me if I will get another pet - knowing how sad these moments are - and the answer is yes, of course. I would never trade all the joy and love that came before to avoid this pain. Pain is fleeting and it too has its lessons to teach me. My heart is still broken, but it's also open.

9 comments:

  1. {{hugs}}

    You know, there was a handsome grey and white long haired tuxedo boy at VCA recently...

    I couldn't live without pets, either.

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  2. Meg
    such beautiful inspiring words.
    I was so struck by one thought. Your heart has been broken (and undoubtedly will continue to break for some time) but the idea of it breaking wide open struck a chord. Beautiful Finny is letting that broken heart take you to a new place, a place that will also be filled with love and devotion and meow. It's a happy place...down the road when you are ready. She is still giving you many gifts.

    xoxoxo

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  3. The right animal will come into your life when you are ready. Fin was very special but you are the one who shared her uniqueness with all of us thru your words. She is in all our hearts because of that. Sending lots of hugs to you.

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  4. Meg, thanks for sharing Fin with all of us. Through your words, she touched so many...in a very positive way. We're sure Fin will lead the right animal to you. Purrs to you. (And mom sends hugs.)

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  5. Of course your cat was special, and I am always impressed by owners who breathe additional life and personality into their pets, by introducing them with additional voice and words.

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  6. Dear Meg,
    My heart bleeds for you. Fin was special, not just to you, but to a whole world of cat bloggers. You did that. You gave Fin her voice and she told us the world through her eyes and your fingers. and we loved it.
    Grief is good. It helps us through a passage from one level to another - as do new furry babies.
    I was so heartbroken when Licorice passed and Kozmo made me laugh, but Cinnamon - our Dog we got last summer - makes my heart sing - sing to a different tune than Licorice, but sing none the less.
    We send you many virtual hugs and kisses. We know how difficult it is working in your home office with the office mate gone. We know what it is like to have no belly and songs greeting us. And we know that there is always a place in our heart that totally belongs to Licorice.
    Kisses
    Nellie and Mommy

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  7. I understand. Sending you lots of hugs and positive thoughts. Thank you fur letting us get to know your Finny and letting us love her. I truly hope each day is better for you and lots of great memories replace the sad moments. xoxo

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  8. Khyra says you know her suggestion!

    Fin has good company - 'my' third crossed last Monday - for many many reasons, I've not really shared it BUT I hope Fin and Destyny are doing well. D was 15 or so and quite the devoted soul -

    As 'they' say, you are preaching to the choir here - we know their power and presence in our lives -

    As I said to the vet when we let Kyrye cross, we know this day is coming from the time we bring them home - but we still do it -

    Hugz&Khysses,
    Khyra's Mom
    (and Khyra too)

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  9. ::tears:: and ::smiles::

    You've touched my heart yet again Meg. These wonderful pets of ours...they ARE special. Each and every one of them. They give us the perspective to see the world in ways we'd likely miss otherwise. Yes...your words are yours. Just like mine are mine. Katie's smart, but not THAT smart. Our kitties have opened a window to the world for us. Thank you for articulating it so beautifully.

    I'm so sorry your heart is broken. I know it hurts. But I'm so happy it is also open.
    xo GG

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