I feel like the universe is trying to teach me a lesson.
In the past when I've seen things going south on a project I have moved into Hyper-Meg Mode. Trying to stop the train before it crashed - and usually getting run over in the process.
On a recent project I was told repeatedly it was not my role to try to stop the train. I could tell the conductor things were about to hit the skids, but I was needed more on another track.
Sure enough the train is crashing and I feel this frustration. I also feel this desire to jump in and try to help the survivors. Yet I also see that it still isn't my part to play.
So what is the universe trying to teach me?
That I should always take control so the train doesn't crash?
That I need to realize that not everything is mine to own? Maybe to learn to be okay with the small things so that I am okay with the really big things I can't control either?
I feel it is important to learn this lesson before I can move forward. I just am not sure what it is. I thought about putting it into the context of the job I want to have (Writer - Novel or Screenplay).
On the one hand writing fiction is the ultimate control - you create a world and the characters - and then you mess up their lives or make them better - maybe both.
At some point though you send your created world into the real one - and you're control begins to fade. You're told to change things, people see things differently than you intended. They own it in their own way.
So friends what is the lesson?
When it was my lesson I had to learn to allow others to have their train crashes. I want to jump up and save the train and if I can't I want to save the survivors. I had to learn to let other people have their crash and save themselves. It's their right and privilege and responsibility. About fiction? I'm not sure after you create the characters you have all the control over their world. Sometimes characters dictate their storyline. If I try to force it the way I want it to go it seems false. Even though I am putting the words on the page, I have to listen to the character or re-create them. Re-creating them always feels like a cop out, so I just follow along sometimes. But that just me. Good luck with your lesson. Sometimes just seeing there is a lesson to be learn is enough.
ReplyDeleteI was at a book group meeting yesterday - Skyping with the author. She has done short stories - and one she turned into her first novel. She talked about the changes her editor suggested, she resisted, finally seeing the light - and that this novel, which was ALREADY an award winning short story took almost 8 years, repeat - 8 years, to come to fruition.
ReplyDeleteI think a good editor or whoever is proofreading and commenting will help you to clarify where you want to go. It does not good to rush and *make* things happen....that seldom works out.
Keep the faith, in yourself mostly. It will come when it comes.
OMG! Are you talking about me and my life?
ReplyDeleteOh, do jump in and fix everything PLEASE!!!
(Just kidding.... the older I get the less I know so if you figure everything out I would love to hear all about it)