Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Block One

My first block came down recently in the most unexpected way. I did an exercise awhile back where I had to complete this sentence:

A writer is....

I was surprised by my answers. A writer was - lots of things I am not. Snooty, full of themselves, condescending, and pompous. I think those must have come from watching too much TV because it's not the case in any writers I actually know.

A writer was also some things I was more familiar with like unemployed, poor and frustrated. Why did I want to be a writer?

My answers weren't all bad. Writers were also well-educated, famous, and great with grammar.

I can't deny that there are some writers who are probably are some or all of those things. None of that really matters though because I am none of those things (okay maybe frustrated). Was I afraid I would be become someone totally different if I reached the elusive title of Writer? At some level yes I was. It's like Being a Writer was some magic wand that would totally transform me. Or if I couldn't be those things that I would be denied access to some secret club.

That block was broken by all things the Internal Revenue Service. On this year's taxes I finally made enough money to have to declare myself a Writer.

I am still me - minus one block of fear. I know it seems silly but it has been incredibly freeing. So friends is there something you want to be but are afraid to be? Try to answer your sentence and see if there might be some deep dark thoughts holding you back.

Sunday, April 22, 2012


It's funny how the oddest things sometimes can cause you to move forward.

Maybe I'm not alone, but I admit I have a few blocks that keep me from being what I most want to be. Blocks for me come down to one thing, fear. Fear that stands between me and the destiny I feel has been laid out for me. Destiny that I seem to fight for reasons I do not always understand.

I spent so many years floundering down different creative paths trying to find where I fit. My family is filled with talented artists and I tried to follow their footsteps, but nothing ever felt right. Painting was hard. Drawing was impossible. Sculpture was laughable.

Writing was easy. I thought that it must be easy for everyone.  

When I realized that writing was the path for me I was thrilled. What had always been easy would certainly continue to be so right? Wrong. Suddenly what had been easy - also became hard. I started to get hung up on the same things I did before - just dressed in a new form. Fear was back - not as paralyzing - but everything became difficult again.

I plan on busting down those blocks one at a time because I am tired of them being in my way. Maybe my sharing those blocks with you will help you to clear out blocks of your own, or at least it will help me to really get past them myself. I think that once fear sees the light of day it's going to be harder to go back to being a block. Let's get ready to rumble!