Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Block Three

Perfection is a hard thing to achieve. To expect it of yourself in a first draft is just mean.

As a trainer I would never expect my trainees to be perfect, or anywhere close to perfection on the first try. I would never sit in judgement and assume they would never be good enough to do the job based on those first tentative steps.

I would encourage them. I would ease their fears. I would tell them that competence would come in time and perfection had no place in the process. If they were scared I would make them do it anyway - knowing that they would be successful and gain confidence.

So why am I so hard on myself? Why do I expect perfection on the first try and consider anything less as - unworthy of attempt? My creative endeavors often begin ugly and unformed. Words tumble out of my brain rambling and unfocused - not yet ready for sharp scrutiny. Perfection shouldn't be expected.

At the end of the day - words just need to be written - one at a time. Sometimes they flow easily and sometimes they need to be dragged into the light of day kicking and screaming. My job is just to listen and write them down.

Perfection is a long way off. Enjoy the journey.

Monday, April 30, 2012

Block Two

My next block was a worry that I had about dedication.

I have always been a person who is very driven at working for someone else. I have also been a person who is un-motivated when it comes to working for myself.

I worried that if I was allowed to work at home writing that I would be unable to work and accomplish things. I am in month three of my new job of working from home. I am happy to report I am just as dedicated to my work when I am home.

So I've proved to myself that I can be dedicated and get a full days work done on a daily basis. Would I be that dedicated if I was writing the things I want to write - rather than the things I am getting paid to write? Well it's still a question, but I see it for what it is now.

It's fear. It's another block in the wall of things that hold me back. I now know that I am capable of great dedication to work even at home. So would I rather write about worky stuff or about my screenplay, or novel, or this blog, or my new cat book? I think the answer is clear.

Since writing the things I feel passionate about doesn't pay the bills yet, I will be filling my off-hours with the same dedication to my own ideas. Don't I deserve to have the same level of dedication for myself that I give so freely to others?

Yes I do. Block broken and slowly being removed.